There are 86,400 seconds in a day. More than 30 million seconds in a year.
But it only takes 7 seconds to form a first impression.[1]
And these 7 seconds can change your coming years if not the entire life.
7 seconds to leave an impressive first impression on your future partner.
7 seconds to make your prospective employer think you’re trustworthy and bright in an interview.
If we know how to make the best out of these magical 7 second of time, it can be a pot of gold. We will be well ahead of the others.
If You Make A Bad First Impression, You Can Hardly Change It Afterwards…
Wait.. First impression isn’t that important. People can eventually understand who we are actually capable of through interaction afterwards. We can easily prove who we really are later on, can’t we?
Well… Of course we hope we can.
But science has revealed at least twice the effort is required to change the first impression.[2]
The die is cast at the very beginning.
First Impression Is A Trick The Brain Plays On Us
Ever heard of anchoring effect and confirmation bias?
Anchoring effect is the tendency to base too heavily on the first given piece of information to make decision.[3]
Confirmation bias is the tendency to favor in a way that confirms the preexisting beliefs and hypotheses. More importantly, disproportionately consideration is given to the alternative possibility.
What do they do with first impression?[4]
First, with limited understanding of new friends we meet, we tend to instantly rely on our intuitive to form our perceptions of who they are.
Second, confirmation bias makes it difficult for us to change our biased perceptions. When we further interact with our new friends, we will keep collecting information to prove our judgement is right and ignore anything against our beliefs.
That means, first impression is the by-product of our biased minds.
Do I Need To Disguise Myself If I Want To Leave A Good Impression?
Nah. Not to be confused between ‘impressing others’ and ‘leaving a good impression’.
Impressing others means changing ourselves to fit in others’ expectations.
Leaving a good impression means showing your best self to the others. No changing is involved at all.
Don’t pretend. Don’t disguise. Don’t hide our true self.
The key is that we want the others feel good by our presence, as if the way we want to be treated when we meet new friends.
True. We should not judge a book by its cover. But who will bother picking up the book if its cover scares people off? In order for others to explore us further and deeper, we need to seek a way for them to be interested in us at the very first.
Be a book with rich content as well as an attractive cover.
How To 100% Make Sure I Leave A Great First Impression
Well, leaving a good impression can be done in a multitude of ways. From clothing to posture, from talking style to body language. Below are several tips for you to begin with:[
Physical Appearance Matters. We’re Visual Creatures After All.
Before actually knowing you deeper through interaction, physical appearance is the first clue one relies on to interpret who we are.
Besides, it is a way to show respect by choosing appropriate attire for different settings. It also means the person means something to us by dressing properly.
If it is a business setting, be aware of the dress code or culture. The requirement varies from culture to culture. A thumbs-up here does not mean the same elsewhere. Do the research!
Grooming and dressing are the key here. Are you cleanly shaved? Is your hairstyle messy? Are the clothes neat and tidy? The neatness and tidiness from all these little areas affect much on the impression on the whole.
Don’t Fake A Smile. People Will Doubt Your Sincerity.
(Left) A fake smile vs (Right) A genuine smile
Don’t squeeze a fake smile. A fake smile looks unnatural and it may even creep people out. It can potentially do more harm than good in our attempts to leave a good impression.
Then what makes a genuine smile?
A genuine smile means a Duchenne smile. It means when you smile, you raise the muscles at the corner of your mouth, of your cheeks and of your eyebrows. Smile is only genuine when our brows are raising and more importantly. It is an involuntary action.[6]
It is understandable that sometimes it is hard to suddenly crack a smile. Then at least try not to look intimidating and grumpy!
Positivity plays a crucial part in shaping our first impression.
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